The Art of Timing Your Eyelids

(Published in Banking Services Chronicle May 2005)

Familiarity breeds contempt. What should we do then? Avoid getting familiar? Not possible. And even if it were possible, it would be a dry life. Neither joy nor sorrow. Sheer monotony. But the company of your near and dear ones has an inherent problem: if you try to remember every single thing they told you, life will become a hell.

A good solution to this problem can be the art of ignoring things. We can well say that success is the art of ignoring unimportant or controversial issues. And this applies equally well from inter-personal to international levels.

Looking at Indo-Pak relations from this perspective, one can only appreciate India’s approach to improving the relations. Both sides know very well that Kashmir is a vexed issue. Any real desire to make a headway in improving relations with the neighbour should therefore exclude this bone of contention. Instead, the focus should be on enhancing trade and confidence-building measures. If there is co-operation on the economic front, political fever may even subside.

Or, look at the way we get incensed when the West apparently sells our poverty and sordidity. Zana Briski comes from the US, makes a documentary Born Into Brothels in India, and gets recognised for it with an Oscar. We cry foul and accuse the West of not putting their own house in order first. And in the event seem to suffer from an inferiority complex.

Now, if the problem is genuine—that is, children of prostitutes are really in trouble—we should concentrate on eradicating the evil. If, on the other hand, it is trivial, just forget what Briski does. Ignore such inconsequential issues and rather pay attention to making India a superpower.

Don’t forget we are in the age of spamming. And the greatest contribution spamming has made to us is that it has taught us how to ignore unsolicited messages. Let us make use of our junk boxes and trash cans. The message box needs to be kept clear and uncluttered.

There are people who just don’t know how to ignore. For example, when Narendra Modi is not granted a US visa, he doesn’t sit back stoically. He thunders at a Swabhiman rally in Ahmedabad: “America is scared of Gujarat, of a gas pipeline from Iran to India that will run through Gujarat. The day is not far when Amerians will clamour for a visa to Gujarat. Don’t underestimate the Gujarati.”

But then let us not forget that Modi is a politician. And as such, he would be more interested in notional Gujarati pride rather than a real one. The average Gujarati, with his inherent traits of a trader, may enjoy the romance of Modi’s speech. But when it comes to his own business, he would not make such a mess. He would forget all this nuisance and view US commercially.

The successful man ignores superfluous issues but never, never the crucial ones. In fact, it is this ability to discriminate between the crucial and the superfluous that makes one successful. A successful company never ignores its clients. Every suggestion they make or grievance they utter is given an ear to. Feedback forms an essential factor when it comes to decision-making.

Similarly, if India has to move forward with ambition, we must not be scared of criticism. We should consider the facts and evaluate them without any bias. Because, if we ignore our shortcomings, Lord Meghnad Desai’s apprehension may come true—that India may have to rest content with being a “Great Democracy” while China becomes a truly “Great Power”.

It is very difficult to master this art of timing your eyelids—when to shut them and when to let them remain wide open. It is much like tackling objective-type questions in competitive exams of these days. You must know as much what to leave as what to do.

Learn when to ignore and when not to. And success will be yours.